pisces thirst trap turns 5 (and i turn 31)
an ode to the music that moved me over the course of my solar return
Music is personal; it moves with us, a constant amidst many changes. I don’t intend for this to be a philosophical contribution to this well-recounted truth. Instead, I hope to share music that moves me — through seasons, on the dancefloor, and as I learn and grow. As I develop tastes (then change them all). As I build community, or curate dancefloor spaces in hopes of moving others, too. This writing is simply a look into intentional listening.
We begin here, with PISCES THIRST TRAP VOL. 5, the latest of my birthday self-reflections translated into one-hour, forty-fiveish-minute playlists. I’ve been doing this for five years, and this year, for whatever reason, I feel called to blast it into the cavernous space that is the internet.
A few things have changed in my taste and in its impact over the last few years that feel worth mentioning. I became a DJ. My dear friends will tell you that this is somehow not even the most cringe thing about me, and yet my voice still trembles as I shyly admit to the hobby. Why take up DJing? Well, why does anyone?
I found comfort and acceptance – an antidote to my grief, loss, and heartbreak – on a sacred dancefloor in Portland. Walking solo into that club was never a part of my plan, but I was reaching for depth of feeling, for anonymity, for the warmth of other humans who, like me, express their inner worlds through dance and music.
Much more to come on that. For now, just know, DJing has proven to be a rewarding act of community for me. It has had a lasting impact on my taste. And, well, it’s silly and goofy and fun. ꩜
This year’s volume features new and old. Some artists will never leave me, and I will never leave them; whether broken up and disbanded (Pinegrove forever!), or still making new music (DIIV, thank god!). It features genres of all kinds, bending, melding, and mixing into one. What even is genre anymore? A guardrail, sure, but we all know the beauty falls in the in-between, the fusion, the "I don't even know what I'd call this, some take on electro-shoegaze?" Some of the specific tracks here I discovered in my attempt to bring narrative arcs into my DJ sets. I close this year’s playlist with the song I played at midnight on New Year’s Eve, surrounded by those I love most in a sweaty basement.
Most importantly, the music in this volume contains stories from my year: moments of hyperfixation, moments of emotional overwhelm, moments that soundtracked the sacred act of falling in love, moments where I am longing for rest, shortly followed by moments where I am moving a million miles a minute. Moments that brought me to tears.
Maybe some of these snapshots from my 30th year on earth will be felt deeply by you, dear friends, through the art of actively embracing each song. I challenge you to listen deeply, not passively, to this, and to all things you listen to! In an age when algorithms rule everything around me (and you), the art of sharing music by word of mouth, reading blogs, searching for labels you love, listening to radio shows, and seeking out spaces of intentionality feels more important than ever.
PISCES THIRST TRAP VOL. 5 is not revolutionary, but it is intentional. I hope you enjoy!
For my birthday, send me a song that moved you this year. I’d love to hear it.
